If someone else directed…

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Posted on April 28th, 2008 in Features, Movies, News

Note: The article was written in pure humor and is suggested to be taken in humor as well.

Have you ever wondered how some of the movies will be like if someone else directed it? Well, here we have a bunch of movies which have been drastically changed by our own assumptions of those directors.

08apr directorchange01 If someone else directed...

Movie: Black
Re-Directed By: Aamir Khan

Renamed Movie: Orange, White and Green

Story: Aamir Khan will replace Amitabh Bachchan as the teacher and he will not be a drunk. The parents will be abusive to their daughter, which will lead Aamir Khan to “save” her. He will help her as a child and an adult and will also have an impressive monologue teaching the parents how wrong they were to be abusive to their child. And, when she finally passes college, he will give her a gift which will be a painting of her in Orange, White and Green colors! icon biggrin If someone else directed...

PS: There will be no kissing in this movie. Only hugs!

08apr directorchange02 If someone else directed...

Movie: Rang De Basanti
Re-Directed By: Sooraj R Barjatya

Renamed Movie: Hum Basanti Mein Rang Gaye

Story: Salman Khan will replace Aamir Khan and will most likely be named “Prem”. All five of the main characters will have HUGE families. The marriage between Madhavan and Soha will be done extravagantly. Also, Madhavan will not die, and nobody will shoot the chief minister. Each guy’s mother will fight each other because for some stupid reason or other, and so they all will not talk to each other again. During Holi, they will finally forgive each other and be a happy family again!

08apr directorchange03 If someone else directed...

Movie: Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
Re-Directed By: Ashutosh Gowarikar

Renamed Movie: Skank (because the village stank)

Story: The movie will be shot in a village. Abhishek will be the movie guy of the village, when movies come there once a month, so the whole village watches together. Preity will be the tailor of the village, Rani will be the teacher; she will teach little children. Shahrukh will be a bad-mouth cripple, who will bad-mouth anyone who comes near him. Sexy Sam will be the guy who hits on every girl in the village, and has 5 wives. Shahrukh will bad-mouth Abhishek too many times, which will make him mad, so he will challenge Shahrukh to the village akhada, and duel with him. Both will die in the fight, and Sexy Sam will get Preity and Rani as his 6th and 7th wives respectively.

08apr directorchange04 If someone else directed...

Movie: Kaante
Re-Directed By: Yash Chopra

Renamed Movie: Phool

Story: All the G’s in the movie will be replaced by chocolaty actors such as Shahrukh Khan ‘ nuff said. Every guy in the movie will have a girl, and they will have many dancing around the tree moments. At least, once there will a dance sequence in Switzerland where the actresses get to wear skimpy saris in the snow (black or red saris mainly). They are not criminals, one of the characters’ wife has a brain tumor and he needs money for the operation so he and his buddies decide to rob a bank to do so, but luckily they run into a rich dude who gets emotional by hearing their story and he gives them money, and the wife has a successful surgery and they all live happily ever after.

08apr directorchange05 If someone else directed...

Movie: Jab We Met
Re-Directed By: Pooja Bhatt

Renamed Movie: Jab We Got Annoyed

Story: Shahid and Kareena Kapoor will be replaced by some new actors. The actor playing Shahid will rape Kareena to shut her up because he got really annoyed!! Kareena, in turn, will try to get revenge on Shahid by appealing to the court and trying to get him a punishment. However, the court sides with Shahid saying that any sane person would get pissed off by the amount she talks. So, finally, Kareena gets some women and sits on a starvation campaign because of the injustice and the corruption of India’s justice system. The Chief Minister is forced to make Shahid go to jail; however they let him out after a few days. Pissed off, Kareena goes and shoots Shahid, thinking that it’s high time she took matters into her own hands, and the movie ends.

08apr directorchange06 If someone else directed...

Movie: Namastey London
Re-Directed By: Farhan Akhtar

Renamed Movie: Journey of the Kohinoor

Story: Akshay Kumar will marry Katrina Kaif not because he loves her, but because he wants to go to London and go get the Kohinoor diamond which was taken from his village. Akshay goes to London and is successful in stealing the diamond with the help of Katrina, however he gets caught as he’s running away from the scene of the crime. There, he gives a motivational speech about India which makes everybody teary-eyed and then they let him take away the diamond. He goes back to India with his wife and lives happily ever after!

Sequel to the Journey of Kohinoor: Watch how the secret agents from London try to get the diamond back and, how Akshay protects it!

08apr directorchange07 If someone else directed...

Movie: Race
Re-Directed By: Mani Ratnam

Renamed Movie: Daud

Story: All the women in the movie will be in Saris, even Katrina Kaif will act well. Saif Ali Khan will be a businessman who is evil. His nemesis, Anil Kapoor is also a businessman. Akshay Khanna will be the good guy who does not want to follow his brother’s footsteps, and wants to be a nice respectable doctor. Saif gets mad at Akshay and tells him to get away from him and never show his rat-face again! Akshay, however, before going, tries to preach Saif with the help of Bipasha (Saif’s wife) that what he’s doing is not right. Saif is not persuaded, though he pretends that he is. So, Bipasha goes to live with Akshay and Katrina (Akshay’s wife) after a powerful monolgue with Saif. Saif, in reality, is busy trying to overpower Anil, which he does, however he gets caught in a scandal and is sent to jail. Bipasha waits for him forever.

08apr directorchange08 If someone else directed...

Movie: Dhoom 2
Re-Directed By: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Renamed Movie: Pyar Ke Dhoom

Story: The movie is made in a fairy-tale/18th century India. Hrithik and Abhishek are from rival families and Hrithik is in love with Ash, who happens to be Abhishek’s sister, Uday is Abhishek’s best friend who is in love with the local courtesan played by Bipasha. They provide support to Abhishek after he finds out about the relationship between Hrithik and Ash. There is a confrontation in the end where the two are screaming at the top of their lungs, and then Ash comes in the middle crying incessantly about how much she loves Hrithik, then Abhishek remembers the promise he made to his parents (who are dead) about keeping Ash happy, so he has a change of heart and decides to get the two of them married and they live happily together.

08apr directorchange09 If someone else directed...

Movie: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge
Re-Directed By: Ram Gopal Verma

Renamed Movie: Donwale Beta Le Jayenge

Story: Amrish Puri is an underworld Don, and so is Anupam Kher; they’re both rivals. However, Shahrukh does not know that his father is a don. Shahrukh falls in love with Kajol, and goes to Amrish Puri to ask him for Kajol’s hand. Amrish Puri lets him marry his daughter on one condition, that he has to join his gang knowing whose son he was. When, Shahrukh joins the gang, he’s given the job to kill his father, which he does because he loves Kajol too much. However, during this skirmish, Kajol comes running to tell Shahrukh not to kill his father but one of Amrish Puri’s henchman kills her accidentally. SRK thinks Amrish Puri sent the henchman to kill Kajol on purpose, so he gets pissed and goes and kills Amrish Puri. However, the same henchman of Amrish Puri, in order to save the honor of his boss, kills Shahrukh Khan, and becomes the new underworld Don. The End.

08apr directorchange10 If someone else directed...

Movie: Parineeta
Re-Directed By: Ekta Kapoor

Renamed Movie: Kkarineeta

Story: Lolita and Shekhar will be madly in love with each other. But, Shekhar dies suddenly. So, Lolita marries Girish. But, Girish’s mother does not approve of the marriage. But, dun dun dun, Shekhar comes back! He’s aliveee!! But, dun dun dun, Lolita dies of breast cancer!! So, poor Shekhar marries Koyal; the younger sister. And, Girish goes back to America. However, dun dun dun, Lolita comes back! She’s aliveee!! Now, Lolita hadn’t died because Koyal had tried to kill her but she got scared at the end, and just hid her in a room with bodyguards outside the room, and spread the rumor about the cancer. So, now Lolita in anger pursuits Koyal, and slaps her (which is shown from thousands of angles). Koyal throws herself off the roof before any sort of apologies. Lolita and Shekhar finally can live happily ever after!

Kuch Toh Bolo!

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