Ask Fari Aunty

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Posted on September 1st, 2006 in Advice Column

I like this boy but he doesn’t like me. How do I make myself hotter?
Fill a bath with warm water and put yourself in it. You will be hot as you can get.

I have dandruff, what should I do?
Go to countries where it doesn’t snow and shake your head so those poor souls can know what its like to have snow.

My friend keeps copying my style. She copied my clothes and now she’s even copying my hair style. What shall I do?
This happened to me once.

I am always sleepy, what should I do?
Ummm? Just sleep. Or be like me and drink 10 cups of soda in 2 hours .You will be wide awake and people will think you are on crack.

I just broke up with my boyfriend I can’t get over him
Here’s what I did when I broke up with my boyfriend. One day, he was walking down the street and I made my car drive over him.

My sister annoys me to hell, please give me some advice to ignore or kill her!
Kill her. The easiest way, which always works for me, and I wont get in trouble with my parents (or the law) when I want to kill someone is to lock them in a room and make them watch a movie with Govinda in hot shorts for a few hours and after you open the door to the room, they go and commit suicide themselves cause they cant live with such an image in their head for the rest of their lives.

What’s the best way to kill your ex without leaving evidence?
Send them a present with Govinda movies. It works for everyone.

Is it safe to show up with a chainsaw at your ex’s doorstep?
And why not? I always do it. They will fear you for the rest of their lives and you might get to jail for “attempted murder” but other then that, its perfectly safe.

I like this girl but she has a boyfriend. Should I still tell her how I feel?
Well darling, there is a reason, her boyfriend is someone else and not you? Have you checked yourself in the mirror?

My head keeps hurting a lot, do I have a tumour?
Yes you do. You should start making your will now. If you have a house in London, it goes to me for helping you out.

I like my best friend’s boyfriend, what should I do?
Kill your best friend and then make yourself hotter (see question 1).

Disclaimer: We’re not responsible for any outcomes of the advice above, it is purely for entertainment purposes!

Questions by Satinder & Esha
Answers by Fari Aunty

Kuch Toh Bolo!

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