In what the Indian media considers her latest faux-pas, a global stance has been taken on her behalf. International media outlets are reporting with such fervour that I think the weight issue will never be put to bed. The much-awaited birth of Aaradhya Bachchan was followed by an almost obsessive concern about Aishwarya’s pregnancy weight. It outdid the running commentary on her weight in 2005.

It is curious that in a nation mired by poverty, corruption and suffering that Aishwarya’s weight warrants such interest. It is disappointing that a culture that devotes itself to the Lakshmi Devi and places the utmost importance on mothers and motherhood would be so callous towards it own child, who now embarks upon her own revered adventure.

However, as they say, “If God taketh, then he giveth”. Indian dailies have had their say and now the foreign press is having theirs. Aishwarya’s post-pregnancy weight has made headlines on E!Online, Daily Mail and ABC News, all of whom appear to be critical of the Indian media’s recent behaviour. The Daily Mail stated that “Commentators have been unkind, lambasting the star for letting her fans down” and commented on the very divisive nature of her choice as along with public criticism, she has also received public support, with some calling her a ‘Goddess’.

Since other people have already weighed in (excuse the pun!), I want to throw in my penny’s worth: it’s her body and she has to do what is right for her and her baby, nothing else and no one else matters – we the public or the press should have no say on the matter. As for how the superficial, she still looks beautiful and perhaps more so, now that she is a mother because mothers always look perfect. Plus, mothers should have weight – no child wants to hug a corpse or fall asleep on skin and bones.

NB. She looked incredible in the Elie Saab and no one would have looked good in that Abu-Sandeep (they outfit didn’t know which gender to be inclined towards; there’s a lesson here – Indian clothes can never be androgynous).

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1. DOSTANA 2

Director: Tarun Mansukhani

Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Katrina Kaif, Dino Morea, Abhay Deol

This is the much-awaited sequel to the comical bromance that released in 2008. However, as the ‘Desi Girl’ walked into the sunset with her beau, it was inevitable that we would have a new leading lady. Katrina Kaif is replacing Priyanka Chopra and the setting has changed to London, in this Dharma Production, but thankfully not much else has changed. Expect the same club-hopping tunes and the vibrant choreography of the first. The film was slated to release in 2012 but is now reportedly set for 2013. While Katrina will undoubtedly be on top form, and Abhay will bring gravitas to the film, we are most looking forward to the dynamic duo of the original; John’s and Abhishek’s sizzling chemistry and impeccable comic timing are going to be the highlight of the film.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME IN MUMBAAI 2

Director: Milan Luthria

Cast: Akshay Kumar

Opening to mixed reviews but commercial success, the 2010 Ajay Devgn-led film may well become a franchise. The original filmmakers are hoping to move the story forward with Akshay Kumar at the helm. Currently, he is the only actor to be confirmed in the cast and is rumoured to be playing a character modelled on Dawood Ibrahim, the notorious underworld don. Many names were bounced around for the female lead, including Kareena Kapoor, but if sources are to be believed then it is Vidya who will be signing the dotted line for the coveted role of the leading lady. Shahid Kapoor is also said to be in talks to play the second lead. The film is said to go on the floor in early 2012, and should be ready for release later in the year; so watch this space, folks!

3. ROCK ON 2

Director: Abhishek Kapoor

Cast: Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, Sharman Joshi, Purab Kohli

After three years of waiting, Rock On 2 has been finally confirmed. Abhishek Kapoor will once again take the reins and Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal and Purab Kohli will be reprising their roles from the original film. Sharman Joshi has also been added to the cast and Priyanka Chopra is rumoured to be the female lead in this sequel. Sources say that the story is about the band’s search a new band mate. Though it hasn’t been confirmed, it is likely that Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy will be composing the songs for the film. We are very excited to see the cast and crew of Rock On 2 set our screens ablaze with a solid storyline, phenomenal music and stellar acting!

4. TANU WEDS MANU SEASON 2

Director: Aanand L. Rai

Cast: Kangana Ranaut, Madhavan

Amidst the plethora of male-led sequels, Tanu Weds Manu Season 2 is breaking convention and forging ahead with the same lead actress. Kangana will be reprising her role from the original film but there have been no confirmations about the male lead. The rumours doing round is that the filmmakers wanted to keep the USP of the original film: Tanu’s quirky yet affable character. Furthermore, if the rumours are to be believed, it is Madhavan’s fee that is the reason behind his absence in the film. However, it is also being speculated that the makers want an actor with more star power. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out on the story, since ‘Tanu’ did in fact wed ‘Manu’. The film is expected to leave behind colourful terrains of India and head to exotic and foreign shores. Here’s to seeing the bride and hopefully the groom!

5. DEDH ISHIQYA

Director: Abhishek Chaubey

Cast: Arshad Warsi, Madhuri Dixit-Nene, Kangana Ranaut and Irrfan Khan

Ishqiya was an unexpected success and the ambiguous ending left it open for a sequel. Two years later, the sequel to the underworld comic caper is now a reality, set to go on the floors in 2012. The film is in its initial stages and pre-production is underway. Arshard Warsi will once again don the mantle of ‘Babban’, while Madhuri Dixit-Nene and Kangana Ranaut are touted to be the leading ladies. Naseeruddin Shah was meant to be reprising his role but according to sources, Irrfan Khan will be replacing him. The cast alone is enough to pique the audiences’ interest and we expect some Madhuri Magic, since she will be gracing our screens after a five year absence. Expect stellar performances, a captivating storyline and possibly iconic dance sequences!

6. KRRISH 3

Director: Rakesh Roshan

Cast: Hrithik Roshan, Vivek Oberoi, Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut

Bollywood’s answer to the superhero saga, this Hrithik Roshan-led franchise will be coming to a theatre near you in 2012. The third instalment of the franchise, said to be heavily influenced by the X-Men trilogy, will be directed by Rakesh Roshan himself. Vivek Oberoi will play the antagonist, and Indian cinema will finally see equally capable super-villain. While Priyanka Chopra remains the leading lady and the star of Krrish’s heart, Kangana Ranaut will also be joining the cast for this adventure.  Expect a thrilling and exhilarating ride as we see Krrish move forward to his destiny!

7. HOUSEFULL 2

Director: Sajid Khan

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Riteish Deshmukh, John Abraham, Asin, Zarine Khan, Jacqueline Fernandez, Shahzahn Padamsee, Rishi Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor, Mithun Chakravarthy, Boman Irani, Shreyas Talapde

This film is much bigger than the previous offering; they have thrown in everything except the kitchen sink. The locations for the shoot include the yet under-utilised Argentina and Chile. We are going to see Akshay Kumar transform from a gawking geek to a suave and sophisticated man about town. Our heroines, Asin, Jacqueline, Shahzahn and Zarine are all expected to wear bikinis, adding the ‘oomph’ factor. Randhir Kapoor and Rishi Kapoor are going to bringing the sibling rivalry to the screen. Furthermore, expect some crazy choreography as the dancing stars of the yesteryears, Mithun and Rishi, are expected to have a dance off. If that wasn’t enough to intrigue the audiences, Rani Mukherji, Karisma Kapur and Malaika Arora are going to scorch the screen in smoking hot item numbers. And just in case the ‘filmi’ quotient isn’t enough, Indian cricketers Dhoni and Raina are expected to be seen in cameos. With so much happening and so many stars, we expect the audiences to be going out in full force to watch the old-school Bollywood extravaganza!

8. DABANGG 2

Director: Arbaaz Khan

Cast: Salman Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Arbaaz Khan, Prakash Raj

After a few false starts, the film is now underway. The original director, Abhinav Kashyap, and our favourite villain, Sonu Sood, are no longer a part of this project but producer-actor Arbaaz Khan has decided to add another feather to his cap, as the film’s director. Salman Khan will, of course, be donning the police uniform and moustache for the character of Chulbul Pandey, Sonakshi will be the quintessential village belle, while the film has a new villain in Prakash Raj. However, despite the strong cast and the entertainment value, they have a long road ahead since it is going to be a great challenge to recapture the magic of the first film and trying to outdo the popularity of ‘Munni Badnaam Hui’. Our fingers are crossed!

9. RACE 2

Director: Abbas-Mustan

Cast: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Bipasha Basu, Deepika Padukone, Ameesha Patel, Anil Kapoor

The Dhoom franchise may have lost John very early on, but their loss has been Race’s gain. John has been added to the cast of Race 2. Ex-beau Bipasha Basu is said to be doing a cameo but it is Deepika Padukone who will be the leading lady of this latest outing. Shiraz Ahmad, who wrote the screenplay for Race, will be penning the story for this film as well. Jacqueline Fernandez and Amisha Patel will also be joining the already electric cast. The film went on the floor in November 2011. We are told that the film is slicker and edgier, as if that we possible!

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1. Akshay Kumar at Tees Maar Khan Music Launch

Akshay Kumar doesn’t get it wrong. However between the faux cowl-neck, mesh sleeves, tight tank and bunched trousers, this is a look that does not become him. Thankfully, the look was tempered by black but it was still a disappointing outfit for a man who usually looks quite dapper.

2. Hrithik Roshan at 56^th Filmfare Awards

Good looking men should hire good stylists, especially when they have the means to do so. The stubble was too casual for the outfit; and the thin lapels, shiny poorly-fitted trousers and the unique weave and thin tie were all screaming for attention and in a bid to outdo each other, they actually detracted the whole look.

3. Kangna Ranaut at The Dirty Picture Success Bash

Known for her bold choices in fashion, Kangna’s look here hardly comes as a surprise. There’s much of a muchness. The metallic jacket, sateen trousers and glittering shoes could induce a seizure. To top it off, she has painted her face with severe brows, bronzer and concealer. Seems like overcompensation, but for what, we aren’t sure.

4. Katrina Kaif at FHM Sexist Women Launch

Katrina has a fantastic figure, that’s clearly not a secret but it doesn’t need regular broadcasting. The corset, the cleavage and sequins just scream trailer trash prom queen. Katrina can do, and has done, better.

5. Shahrukh Khan Leaving for Dubai

The usually well-dressed SRK seems to be channelling pre-2010 Salman and Amitabh Bachchan. The ensemble is a mixture of distressed jeans, t-shirt emblazoned with pop culture and a velvet jacket; those pieces shouldn’t be worn individually, let alone together. There’s never a time or a place for this outfit.

6. Malaika Arora at the Audi Show

Malaika is fond of her fitted dresses and sexy outfits but maybe this taking it a step too far. While the clothes fit flawlessly, the big, over-styled hair with the bejewelled corset top and leather pants scream car show room girl. We expect more from the Head of Yummy Mummies!

7. Genelia D’souza at Mausam Premiere

Genelia’s megawatt smile and happy demeanour could not salvage this outfit. The motif on the lehenga is interesting and the work on the strapless blouse is intricate but together, they are just clashing. Plus, the drape of the dupatta and the way the top sits on her torso just seems unbalanced. Add the draining colour of her lips against starkness of kohl, this is an ensemble best forgotten.

8. Sonam Kapoor at Mausam Press Meet

The crowned princess of fashion slipped up. The top and dress are part of set but might have benefitted from the addition of a belt and better footwear. The bubblegum pink, gold accessories and the hair only add to the disaster of the outfit. Sonam is daring but sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to play it safe!

9. Sushmita Sen at Paris Hilton Meet

Oh Sush! Looking at this photo, the outfit detracts from all that Sushmita represents: the modern Indian woman. Instead, she appears to be an unsuccessful cougar. The mesh dress, visible underwear and a fetishist’s necklace, does not a woman of substance make.

10. Vidya Balan at Melbourne Indian Film Festival

Vidya Balan can rock the sarees but anything else seems to be slightly out of reach for this talented but sartorially-challenged actress. The chains themselves aren’t a part of the outfit (she was being honoured by the Mayor of Melbourne) but the dress itself is drab and very unsure of what it wants to be: a shirt dress, gown, maxi or anarkali; a poor reflection of such a powerhouse talent!

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We live in strange times. In the Twitter Age, we have taken to verbally crucifying each other, all under the guise of free speech. We have a tendency to place people on a pedestal and then take pleasure in knocking them down. The electronic media has made this even easier. In essence, our ancient days of primitive idolatry are still very much present in a supposedly evolved and rational age.

Over the years, we have seen and lauded the meteoric rise of actors in Indian cinema. We have been fascinated and enamoured by their personal journeys and witnessed scenes of mass hysteria reminiscent of the audiences who thronged the terraces of the coliseum in Ancient Rome. Today, we still enjoy a good bloodbath. We remain a fickle mistress. We are the ones who are now ready tear down the very people we helped raise so high.

I log on to YouTube, I look up trailers and news bytes and as I scroll further down the page, I am horrified by what I find. Comments like “yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk……………another BRA1 ON HIS WAY” on the Don 2 trailer or “bachchan b*tch” on a video about Aishwarya’s pregnancy.

These are just two of the comments amongst countless on those videos alone. Go to any other video with any other celebrity, and you will find the same thing; comments that are just venomous and vitriolic, and lacking in any substance.

I don’t even understand how BRA1 works as an insult. Is the bra meant to insult the film? The garment in question is at the centre of a multi-million dollar industry: Anne Summers, Victoria’s Secrets and La Perla, to name just three. Evidently, this along with the iconic importance of the brassiere in sartorial elegance and fashion is, oddly, lost on some. The poster has paradoxically declared the film a success and has given it iconic status, which was clearly not their intention. Then again, insults are always of limited calibre.

However, it is the latter of the two comments that I find most disturbing. A woman, irrespective of whom, is pregnant with her first child. A moment that is universally celebrated is in this instance being met with malice. Indian culture has great regard and respect for mothers, and it is “comforting to know that the future of this tradition is in safe hands”.

Understandably, that there are times when we don’t like a certain person. A certain celebrity, in this instance. Sometimes it’s because we imagine there to be a rivalry with our personal favourite and at other times it’s a certain characteristic that irritates us. It is natural for us to express that in a conversation when the topic crops up. However, to take time out of our day to post a hateful comment on a video that we could very well avoid just seems sadistic.

Of late, all celebrities have faced vilification; “She’s let her career slide”, “He’s self-serving” and the ever popular, “S/he can’t act”. It is understandable; they are in the public arena, and in a business where success is solely measured and judged by popularity. However, I think we have passed the point where criticism is constructive and ventured into territory that is drenched in bile.

Amitabh Bachchan was recently accused of ‘controlling’ the media when India’s Broadcast Editors’ Association (BEA) passed the edict limiting the coverage about Aishwarya Rai’s pregnancy. You’d think that if someone wanted to control the media, it would be to garner further interest in their ‘product’. Score a ‘buck’ in any which way. They wouldn’t be trying to protect their privacy or trying to limit publicity for their ‘brand’. They would instead be manipulating any and every situation to their greatest advantage. To me, this particular type of criticism just screams of spite.

Similarly, Aishwarya is frequently disparaged, and increasingly so by Toms, Dicks and Harrys and these comments are there for all and sundry to see. I don’t consider myself a fan, but I do have immense respect for her. She has not played the pregnancy card, which so many of her Western counterparts have done. Yes, in India this isn’t a common practice but she has previously forgone convention as she continued to work post-marriage, and with impending motherhood she could have once again broken tradition. She didn’t. She is a high profile celebrity and she could be gracing covers of magazines and giving interviews detailing her pregnancy. Cashing in on an opportunity, so to speak. She isn’t.

If we ignore all the trappings of fame and who she is, there is only one important fact: she is pregnant. On any other day, we give up seats on buses and trains. We try and ease a pregnant woman’s strain and baggage.

These societal diktats don’t change because the ‘she’ in question is Aishwarya Rai. She deserves to be treated with the same respect and courtesy; she should not have to deal with the ‘strain’ and ‘baggage’ of personal tirades. While I doubt she is concerned with petty sentiments of the Average Joe and his sister, it is inexcusable that this kind of behaviour isn’t raising enough eyebrows; it is met with, at best, indifference.
Maybe we all need to wash our mouths out with soap. Certainly a growing minority of YouTube users might find it a beneficial exercise in civility.

Shah Rukh Khan seems to be another one on the public “hit list”. He is human and like all, he has limitations and flaws, however, they do not take anything away from the grand scheme of things, and that is he is trying and doing his very best. Yes, Ra.One has its problems but there’s a bigger picture; it is working in an almost entirely new medium while trying to remain true to its roots, which is Bollywood, and that is not an easy task.

If you’re expecting the sleekness and depth of superhero films of the West, then you have forgotten one key factor: these ‘mainstream’ films were once marginalised graphic novels. For decades, the genre belonged to the Comic-Con ‘geeks’. These films have documented backstories dating to the sixties and an entire mythography to work from. Ra.One doesn’t have a backstory and the characters aren’t just superheroes, they are Bollywood superheroes. It did well within the boundaries. So declarations of its box office fate from the uninformed audience seems like an attempt dishearten fans and perhaps, the actor himself.

If we can suspend our disbelief during the implausible action sequences and denouement in the Bodyguard, and find it a thoroughly enjoyable experience then I think the same consideration can be extended to Ra.One. It’s fairly simple: the film isn’t the problem. From my perspective, the overwhelming hostility towards the film stems from all the hype and PR. In essence, Shah Rukh’s own PR and its subsequent media coverage is responsible for the current storm of malevolence. It is not about him but a reaction to the forced omnipresence of the Shah Rukh Khan myth. This too, like all those before, shall pass.

Whatever the reason, there is negativity on an unprecedented scale and it isn’t just limited to just the aforementioned stars. Every actor, director and producer has been experiencing their own tumult.

These falls from grace are not the work of the media. For once, they are not wholly culpable. That’s the grand deception. Though the media is certainly giving voice to these “grievances”, but from the evidence at hand, it appears that it is the audience that is flying this particular flag. The public can access the media in a more immediate way so the media now has a vested interest in appeasing us, the masses, which is in direct conflict with what qualifies as responsible journalism.

Over the years, the animosity between most stars is almost entirely fabricated, usually a result of overly fertile imaginations belonging to their fans. The idea that there can be more than one superstar is almost unfathomable. The notion that their idol can be subpar is sacrilege. There’s an embattled tango between fans that has neither elegance nor grace. There’s arrogance in our opinions and a self-importance in our beliefs; we feel entitled, that everything we feel must be expressed. These are no longer abstracts. We, the audience, need to be held accountable; we cannot place the blame solely on the media or on the mere mortals that we willingly raise to an almost divine status.

As wise people have said, “If you have nothing nice to say, then you shouldn’t say it at all. At least not in a public forum.” It is astonishing how much energy is being wasted in hating someone. One would think that time would be better utilised supporting the ones we do like. It’s incidents like this that prove we are a complicated species. We bask in someone’s success only to later dismiss it. We want transparency yet we criticise hidden behind the mask of anonymity. I was sure that we were better than this.

I am sure we can be better than this.

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The Gulf region has collected $464,435 in 10 days. In North America the film has collected $440,717. The film has been released in six locations in Australia as well. There the film collected $71,090.

The collections from the rest of the 13 locations are $67,925. When the film was released July 4, 2008 it opened with 100% collections across India and has stayed at that number since.
The movie, which also stars Genelia D’Souza, depicts contemporary youth culture.

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Although Karan is impressed with the young star’s performances, the fact still remains that he has not signed him for a film. “I would love to work with Imran, he was fantastic in Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Na, but the fact remains that I haven’t signed him for any of my projects. There’s no denying that Imran has great potential. He’s sensational and looks so fresh. But the news is untrue.”

Karan however has decided on a release for his new film Dostana. The film should hit theatres November 14 and is directed by Tarun Mansukhani.

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The first controversy the actress is involved in deals with the film Fauj Mein Mauj. It is said that after shooting a big chunk of the film, the actress expressed to the producer that she would complete the film only if the director was changed. Mallika explained: “Never! I never said that. All I said was that the script wasn’t shaping up to everyone’s satisfaction and it would be great if we re-worked on it. It’s a great plot and everyone felt that it deserves a better screenplay. It’s the producer’s call, how can I dictate terms?”

The second controversy involving the actress comes from Studio 18. The studio has made a complaint against the actress to the producer’s association (MPPA). The studio is saying that after signing a film, Mallika then had a problem with Kundan Shah on particular issues. She says: “False! I am ready to work with Kundan-ji even today. He’s someone I truly admire. Jaane Bhi DoYaaro is a cult film, one of my favourites. But it was clearly decided that things would be mutually discussed at the very outset. If the problems are sorted out, I’d love to work with Kundan-ji. Why not?”

Well hopefully that clears the air and the actress can go about filmmaking in peace.

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Although their performance for the UK isn’t until Sunday August 24, 2008, Preity is busy rehearsing in Mumbai nonetheless. We can somewhat predict the kind of songs that might be performed judging by the list of stars, but details about the show are not being revealed to the public. Surely, we are anticipating the wonderful surprises the stars have in store for us. Preity did not reveal too much about the tour but did comment on the fact that the Unforgettable Tour features something different than any other tour out there. “The fact that there is a completely new star cast who have never been on the world concert before, that’s one of the USP’s,” she said. The star power isn’t the only thing that sets the tour apart from others. The locations that the tour is set to perform in also have something different in store for us.

Hindi cinema fans in at least two continents will have the chance to see some of their favorite stars. According to Preity, “Different people from different countries are going to get a different taste of the Unforgettable Tour. Canada will have Akshay Kumar as a guest performer. Madhuri Dixit is going to tour America with us and Shilpa Shetty as we all know is a UK favourite. Plus the choreography is done by Shiamak Davar who will also be performing. He is of par excellence in choreography. There are lot more surprises installed.” But inquiring minds really want to know some sort of inside detail. “You’ll just have to wait and watch,” she siad.

It is also assumed that the lovely pairing of Abhishek and Preity will perform the famous numbers from their film Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Which ones? Possibly the title track and ‘Bol Na Halke Halke.’ “I am sorry but we are not allowed to disclose out on which numbers we are going to perform and if your guess is as good as mine, you’re lucky. Yes, you can predict the songs seeing my pairing with Abhishek. But that’s it. There’s a lot more to look out for,” she responded.

A thing to take note of is the official promotional picture in which we see all the stars wearing red in some form or fashion. Well, the stylish outfits were designed by Manish Maholtra and some other top notch designers. “Lot of preparation is going on for the tour as of now. We are all very excited and are rehearsing for three to four hours a day. New things are coming up everyday and so is the entry of guest stars.” Hmm, what else can be going on? One can’t help but think that along with the expected surprises will be more surprises. “I think whatever you get is going to be more than what you expect. I can promise you that.” Wow, a star that is willing to stand by her word and deliver a promise. “There is going to be a lot of everything in this show. I don’t want to talk much about it because it’s better you all watch it live.”

Along with the talented stars, it appears we must not forget the company that is bringing the tour to us. “This is going to be the biggest world tour coming out of the Indian Film Industry and all credit goes to Wizcraft in the way they’ve put the show up. Not to forget, we too have done our part to push it to another level (laughs).” If by another level means not revealing any secrets and getting an all-star cast together on one stage, then we would agree.

For more information about this tour, visit The Unforgettable Tour website or simply stay tuned here as BollySpice brings you the latest.

Be sure to check back soon to read Aly Kassam’s review because he will be at opening night in Toronto!

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Then you think of the ways you would have done it and how it could have been better.

That’s the feeling I had when I watched Mujhse Dosti Karoge.

Just to clarify, I didn’t watch it in the cinema.

Kunal Kohli’s first film — there were bound to be flaws but the problem was that I saw so much potential that I was mostly astounded because he hadn’t thought the film through as well as he could have.

My first port of call with this film would have been the screenplay and the continuity — something that Kunal clearly missed. Given that the story is set in 2002, the 15 years back-story would mean that we first see the characters in 1987. Which means Windows and the Internet was not widely available, even in America. The story would see them exchange letters by post (for those of you not old enough to know what this is — it was the method of communication before the Internet). Then the question of their tune arises — they had tapes back then, why not send those?

Eventually they would have grown out of letters and moved on, seamlessly, to e-mails. They could have retained the conversational interaction as they did in the film and it would have made sense.

The minor continuity errors should have been addressed since they feel like gaping holes. Pooja’s favorite color is supposed to be blue and she would never wear yellow or its kin, but throughout the film she wears bright colors and even yellow. Also there is no London University. There is a University of London which is in fact an amalgamation of many colleges and schools for higher education.

The lifestyle in London also nagged at me. They went straight from India to England and ended up in Hampstead — which is out of Central London and ridiculously expensive — and found an Italian chef? It doesn’t make sense. Yes, the family was rich but not that rich, not yet anyway. Also, logically speaking, they would have moved into an apartment or townhouse in Central London, since the businesses are all located there. You can still show wealth that way and there was literally no need for the Italian chef.

Casting and characterizations are my next gripe in the film. Uday was a complete miscast in his role and Kareena today would have fared better, mostly because Kareena hadn’t honed her acting skills or worked on her diction at the time. In Uday’s place, I would have used Vivek or Abhishek since by then they had become somewhat seasoned and looked more age appropriate with Hrithik.

Characterizations were a little inane — the parents were ridiculous (of the four characters but that was mostly to do with dialogue) in their actions and behavior, in particular Rohan’s parents in their mannerisms. This may come as a shock, but British Asians don’t behave like that for the most part. The side-character of ‘Roni’ was unnecessary and badly executed. Rohan’s characters should have been utilized in this role (it would have worked if they had removed the ‘rishta from London’ scene). The lead characters were well sketched — we all have conflicting aspects in our personality, we can be as kind as we can be vicious, so I had no qualms about them.

The dialogues — they killed the characterization. What on earth was going on there? The constant talk of rich and poor, friendship and whatnot reminded me of the dialogues of the 60′s and 70′s. Our audience is more sophisticated now. Hasn’t anyone heard of subtle and implied dialogues?

The costumes and dress would have been my next complaint — throughout the film Rani and Kareena looked awful with over-processed hair, overdone make-up and outfits that were so awful that even Fashion Police couldn’t critique it. Kareena in particular came off worse for wear because, for some strange reason, Bollywood make-up artists think Kareena looks fantastic in nude color and overdone make-up — she doesn’t. Her coloring requires stronger make-up applied very sparingly and the same goes for Rani, except she should be wearing more neutrals and less make-up as well. Hrithik, in his suits, was flawless but his regular day-to-day clothing could have been less ‘Archie Comics.’

The climax would also have come sooner in my film, and the background music to the original scene didn’t gel well with the rest of the film. There would have been no dramatic confrontation at the mandap, and there wouldn’t have been a perfect fall of sindoor. The dramatic scene would have happened prior to the wedding with Tina finding the ‘shaadi’ bangles in Pooja’s possessions and finally understanding the situation for what it was.

The music would have been produced by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, lyrics by Javed Akhtar with Abbas Tyrewala penning the script, Farhan Akhtar at the director’s wheel and the choreography by Vaibhai Merchant. The only segment of the film I wouldn’t change was ‘The Medley’ but I would change the choreography.

In short MDK had so much potential but it was lost in the abyss of gloss and glamour, which no film should be. A loss for cinema.

Stay tuned for others in this new series as our journalists share how they would fix their favorite movies.

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He is currently toning his athletic body into a muscular one for a film that is due to go into production next year.

He’s increased his intake of proteins and has become a patron of pilates and Kalaripayattu (a Keralite martial art) to ‘buff’ up and apparently it’s showing.

And expect to see him grace the small screen ala Salman, in a far and distant future, “I just want to focus on films, but television is definitely an interesting medium to explore.”

He has also signed up for a Bunty Walia film with Sanjay Dutt and directed by Rahul Dholakia (of Parzania fame), “I was really excited about the script when I heard it. I think it’s a great project and very entertaining as well.”

And in other news, Kunal was not born on the 27th of June but 18th of October and he was inundated with birthday wishes recently, “I think lot of websites and the media have printed my birthday wrong and it misleads people. It was weird calling up people and telling them that it wasn’t my actual birthday!”

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