Coming up this Diwali, October 26th is the Anubhav Sinha epic superhero/adventure/action/romance/comedy/music okay pretty much everything good all rolled into one film that stars the good Shah Rukh Khan, the beautiful Kareena Kapoor and the bad (we think since we have not seen him yet but sure he looks great) Arjun Rampal. Add to that are the exciting special appearances from Sanjay Dutt as The Villianous Villan – Khalnayak and Priyanka Chopra as The Damsel in Distress. Intriguing? We think so!
With the music release of the film happening tomorrow and with the totally killer cool Ra.One website live and since we promised you lots of treats leading up to the release of the film in October we thought we would give you a bit of the inside data on the characters that make up the Ra.One world!
A father trying hard to ‘fit-in’ in his Son’s badass world- A son … trying hard to ‘dude-up’ his dad from ‘aiiiyyyo’ to ‘YO!’ And a mother lost in translation between her husband’s ‘ingeva’ and her son’s ‘Inn’it!’
While Shekhar was trying every trick in the book to woo his son, get ‘dude-ified’ and ‘up his coolness quotient’ his son had given up on him..
Just when the father-son duo hit a deadlock- Shekhar strikes gold when he designs one hell of a game..
Finally it all starts falling in place…
…as the family comes together…
…only to find themselves in the middle of a crash…
…not just a hard drive crash but a crash that would drive them to a disaster and make their lives go – KABOOM!!!
… all hell breaks loose when – the game that was meant to be played with… starts playing them…
Ra.One- The next level.
GET TO KNOW G.ONE – I.M.E.O (IN MY EXPERT OPINION)
DESIGNATED ID: G.ONE (The Good one) - Now that’s a good way to go ‘down’ in history as the Good.one. But my way to go ‘down’ in history is – just flush the text book and see your history grades nose-dive way ‘down’!
SCHEMATIC DESCRIPTION: G series – x 555
(I say – sounds badass and means something tech – ass!)
PERMANENT VOCATION: Videogame Superhero (Would love to bag that tag bro!)
THE CARDINAL MISSION: To protect Lucifer (FYI – Lucifer equal to me equal to Prateek… My wish is his command!! For the airheads and non believers, check it out in ‘Wookipedia’…and no! I didn’t just make it up!)
INFERRED PROPERTIES: Kinematics – @ 1,86,282 MPZ per second. (Dude’s got speed! Cruises faster than a blink of your ‘peep-lid’. For senior folks the terms is eye- lids, come on you guys.. get an upgrade.) Invigorated electrical component which energizes up to 174PW. (1PW = 1015 Zatts) (BTW that can fry your brains off and vaporise ‘em into thin air.)
Vocal apparatus is equipped with cognitive ability to interpret 400 languages. (I bet you didn’t even know that 400 freaking lingo’s existed! I know three- namely ‘Lingo dad’, ‘Lingo mom’ and ‘Lingo me’ and FYI ‘Lingo-dad’ leaves me stumped!) Demodulating Sonic Frequencies from the macrocosm that apprises him of impending danger. (That just zipped over my left B-cap – I mean brain. Maybe Einstein can decode that or the ‘enthu geek cutlets’ can do an ‘all nighter’ and get in touch with me with the exact meaning … Attaboys!) Retinal Broadcasting Pixel empowered with a radiation scanner and X-ray vision. (That’s the ammo I want… he sees it all – through and through – had it been me, I would click the ugly boxers you are wearing and upload it on youtube.) G.ONE controls the art of ‘ Controlled Probability’ (In the words of ‘Google-Pedia’ ” Controlled Probability is the ability to alter probability, causing unlikely things to happen or likely things not to happen” Blah blah and more blah… It’s a ‘bazooka’ right? Buzzed right over your brains…. but as long as you get the drift) G.ONE can fly (Now you don’t ‘fly off’ the handle… let me elaborate. He has his own unique fly-(w)ing system – and it is nothing like the airplane wings, nor the angel wings…and definitely not the ‘chicken wings’. He is empowered with ‘propellant – suction’ shoes.. that can take him to the moon and back… within 5 seconds!! Nah! I am just pulling your toe, that would atleast take him 5 minutes… this time for real!!) And here’s more; some tid-bits I wanna spill on G.ONE. You can Google it on Google but this 411 you won’t find anywhere but here.. Oh come on you oldies catch up- 411 means info.
G.ONE’s MATES & PEEPS: There are just three to speak of- I, ME and MYSELF.
ALLERGIC TO: Everything that I don’t dig and that don’t dig me.
G.ONE’S KINDA NOISE: Moi and moi command!
MODUS OPERANDI: Some superheroes wear a mask, this one wears a H.A.R.T. - (Herts.Advanced.Resonance.Transmitter. He operates with his H.A.R.T) Ewwww! That’s just simple cheesy- but I’m kinda loving it!
RA.ONE - EVIL HAS NO FACE
WALKED THE EARTH: Since the time of the dinosaurs- this is as per me and the dinosaurs- but as per his passport it’s somewhere between 30 and 35.
STATUS: OSO: Full form – old school and outdated.. Need I say more?
GEEK–o-METER!: Apart from the million degrees in technology, he has a masters in ‘Nerdology’ …my bad… make that a double PHD!!
WORK ID: Video Game Designer… who makes the villain ‘crash and bomb’ in his video games but unfortunately so do all his Video games…. I mean ‘crash and bomb’ in real time.
MATES & PEEPS: Normally nerds hang with other nerds, but surprisingly pop got hold of some popping and locking friends!!! Jenny, A kickass computer hacker and a ‘Boom Ting’ – cool babe. She’s been to jail and all- for hacking into the FBI meat. She’s my hero!! And then there is funny man Akashi.. you can also call him Jackie Chan (P.S:. You didn’t hear this from me) But dad’s best buddy is ‘Iyyo’ uncle Iyer. Pop’s oldest pal. You can call em ‘chaddi Buddies’ or ‘BB- Boxer Buddies’ (That is if Iyer uncle ever wears either one- under that Lungi)
MUNCHES OUT ON: You mean apart from my delicious lip smacking jumbo sized- BRAINS? It is one and only – CURD and NOODLES..EWW ..that hurts – watching him eat that grub on the dining table. Now you know why I have a bad appetite!
ALLERGIC TO: My ABC ‘Always Be Cool’ attitude. And of course safe driving..(All our pets and mom’s plants are dead- that’s right came under a car. It’s a no brainer whose car are we talking about. May their soul rest in peace.)
CHILL OUT ZONES: Office….that’s where the nerdy species choose to chill and freeze!
M&MC (Mission and Motto crap): One and only – to ruin my ‘Coolio’ status and destroy my life!!! To torture the world with his A3 quotes. (Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere) To design an ace ‘Bad-ass’ video game (If only he would take my ‘Edge-wise’ on how to make his video games cutting edge- I’m sure his next one would be a home run.)
POP’S KINDA NOISE: Whacked out ‘Karnatak’ music (My Lady GaGa will never appreciate this stone-age raga)
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT POP ON THE MAP TODAY: In office probably getting fired by his Big Bad Boss –Barron! (That means another sermon coming up at the dining table – Guess who won’t be making home for dinner tonight??)
And that’s my Must Obey Me – MOM!
NAME TAG: SSS – Sonia Shekhar Subramaniam; but I think SOS suits her just fine.
STATUS: An O.T.T (Over the top) FEMINIST – Try her at your risk!
WALKED THE EARTH: My lips are Zipped- ain’t no spill here.
WORK ID: A writer to ‘SWEAR’ by, lemme stretch it out for you…If my father has a double PHD in ‘Nerdology’, my mom topped that with a triple PHD in’Abuse-o-logy’. No it has nothing to do with zoology- Fidiots! But it has everything to do with abuses and men so better eye this space for more updates.
MATES & PEEPS: Just one – Jenny. Jenny and mom – gal pals! Jenny the hacker and mom the attacker… Jenny HACKS computers and mom ATTACKS them. Jenny speaks the tech lingo and mom is still searching for the space bar and the mouse on the keyboard!! Jenny digs technology; mom digs her garden and her ancient typewriter. You read me right the first time – they are gal pals. HOW, WHY AND WHY AGAIN- beats me!!
ALLERGIC TO: T- V- C (T for technology, V for my Video Games and C for computers..) Let me spell that out for you – Mom accidentally touches an electronic device BOOM! It is beat, dead beat. And the world of video games for her stops and begins with SUPER MARIO. She has been playing it since I was one. I grew up but she and Mario are still playing on level one. C for computers has a C for cardiac arrest when mom uses the CD drive as a coffee holder.
CHILL OUT ZONES: That would be mom and her typewriter in one corner of our crib. Any and every ‘Go green parade’. Given an opportunity mom would happily recycle me too.
M&MC (Mission and Motto crap): To repel technology…lol!! To bond father and son.. (i.e. me and my dad) and I like to call this Mission Impossible. (That’s never going to happen in Jazillion years.) And of’ course, to pen down male centric abuses, u know- all that… ‘Beep beep’
(P.S:. Mom thinks I’m not aware of all this grown up stuff….phhew! When will she grow up?!)
(For all my peeps out there… if you wanna ‘up’ your G.K, you better dig my mom’s book, ’cause I bet once you read it, you’re gonna literally ‘SWEAR’ by it, ‘SWEAR’ on it, ‘SWEAR’ around it and ‘SWEAR’ with it.)
MOM’S KINDA NOISE: It can be described in three words..’Balle’ ‘Balle’ and more ‘Balle’. Basically any music from the alleys of North India or Punjab is very much up mom’s alley. (If I were to say Lady GaGa was from Punjab- she would love her too! I kid you not!)
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT MOM ON THE MAP TODAY: IDK … I don’t know …oh yeah!! She is hanging out with her best friend. No not Jenny you airhead …her typewriter!!
USER NAME: Last I checked- Prateek Subramaniam
GAMING ID: LUCIFER.. if you happen to check it out, the gaming score card reads -Lucifer- Undefeated Won – ALL … Lost – ZILCH! (FYI have kicked Zeus around many times over and for those who think I lucked out or snookered- I have three words- zip it Crapface!)
STATUS: ‘GAME-OTHIC – which incidentally is an upgraded version of gameohlic . Restricted access – Only the ones with a Jillion wins to apply.. (For the numerically challenged folks- Jillion beats a Zillion)
GEEK o METER!: WTF!?!(What the Fish!! Now don’t get excited looking at the F word.. it’s just a fish dude!)
WALKED THE EARTH: 13 ‘earth’ years but cerebral age is definitely undecided, a safe bet would be 100 yrs plus and still counting.
MY MATES & PEEPS: I.M.A.O (In my arrogant opinion) I don’t have many ‘besties’ as most of them can’t keep up with me.. but some dorks have stuck around over the years… ET who’s best described as a kook! (Rumor has it… his last interaction was with an alien…since then he hasn’t uttered a word!) April my mate- she may be a girl but slam-dunks better than all the guys around her! And Naina..people say I am sweet on her ..and I say BS…(Bull shit) I hate girls..of course doesn’t mean I hate Naina! You get my drift…
I MUNCH OUT ON: Peanut butter jelly with curd and rice and of course some ketchup to go with it. (Don’t get ‘noid now – it tastes yum!)
ALLERGIC TO: Apart from dust, my dad!! For the dust allergy I pop a pill…but what pill to pop for my pop!? Anyone?! Second on the list is of course my Mother’s melodrama which gets bigger but definitely not better over the years.. are ‘yall feeling my Pain? The big fat ‘tard in my class Billy – who loves to BULLY me. I can safely say he is a fidiot!(Fishing idiot o’course.. I swear!)
CHILL OUT ZONES: You may catch me in some fender benders on the football fields…Can hang and marinate at the gaming arcade for like a bazillion times.. (how many zeros does that have anyway!)
M&MC (Mission and Motto crap): Roses are pansy and Violets are blue!! If you diss with me – say hi to a BTAP you! For those historical artifacts who catch on late – BTAP = Beaten to a Pulp!)
MY KINDA NOISE: Metal nails screeching on a metal board totally amp me.. so goes without saying metal rock rocks my boat. I dig Lady gaga- but if you dig deep enough- surprise surprise! The find is ‘lady’ Gaga is actually a Lad.. go figure!
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT ME ON THE MAP TODAY: Today is a historical day, as I have finally discovered I am a mutant.. (you won’t be surprised once you meet my mom and dad!) But the point is.. now that you know my secret… am on my way to kill you..! S.T.B.U (Sucks to be you!) BTW are you still sitting there and reading this? Why you all up in my biznezz anyway?!? WTF?!
Get a life homie!
NAME: He bears the title of ‘Boss from hell’ aka ‘Barron’.
STATUS: He has just topped the ‘Billionaires club’, and is busy moving on to the ‘trillion-aires’ list!!! Well this one surely loves his greens and I don’t just mean veggies.
MUNCHES OUT ON: His employees! He literally eats them alive …with bones and all… and some ‘tomato ketchup’ to go with it! That’s his version of a ‘McBarron’s – Happy Meal’.. and he is definitely loving it!
ALLERGIC TO: ‘Appa’ and his entire team of ‘Video Game designers’ who perform consistently for him; for they ‘consistently’ come up with video games that ‘bomb’!! (Pun definitely intended).
HIS KINDA NOISE: ‘Show me the money’ – The only song he ‘hip- hops’ on since the time he was ‘hopping around’ in his diapers.
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT BARRON ON THE MAP TODAY: Well I would love to tell you..but who cares!!! In fact, as soon as I ‘Spot him’..I’ll make sure I ‘miss’ that spot today!!!
NAME: Uncle Iyer …A.K.A : ‘Mota Iyer’
WALKED THE EARTH: 45 years down-hill now! And is single handedly responsible for all the ‘potholes’ and ‘craters’ in the Balaji Colony!
STATUS: Brain detector activated—Loading— calibrating, searching—ahem—still searching!!Sorry no brain found. Outcome-’Brain dead’. Ha ha, it’s a ‘no- brainer’ to what I’m ‘hinting’ at! Gotcha?!
MUNCHES OUT ON: Bheja curry i.e he loves to chew on his neighbour’s brains.
MOTTO: Love thy neighbour… and kill them with OTT affection!! (For the NOOBS out there–’OTT’- Over the top!)
ALLERGIC TO: Pants! He believes in maximum ventilation, ‘inside out’ and ‘outside in’, hence the ‘Loongi’. I say – it does well to cover those ‘not-so-yummy’ curves!!
CHILL OUT ZONES: The refrigerator. To maintain his ‘healthy’ paunch Mr Iyer chills in the ‘chiller’ for his constant supply of ‘grub’- of course there is nothing ‘healthy’ about it except the size of those helpings!!
HIS KINDA NOISE: Definitely his own voice. Once he starts talking all else fades. (He has an inbuilt speaker system which keeps getting upgraded every year).
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT IYER UNCLE ON THE MAP TODAY: Stuffing his face with some more ‘appam’ and hunting for his next victim to unleash his ‘vocals cords’ on them!! BEWARE – don’t step out without your earplugs!
WALKED THE EARTH: She’s not in the ‘earth zone’ like us ‘earthlings’, she floats in ‘cyber zone’.
STATUS: World’s best Hacker. She has hacked into the FBI database and is currently hacking into #$%^&^%4, sorry can’t spill the beans here (Those are highly confidential beans and NO!!!… they have nothing to do with ‘coffee beans’!!).
GEEK–o-METER!: She ain’t gonna make it on this chart for sure!! She is the only cool quotient in Appa’s geeky team, namely – ‘Geeko-Ids’. (A chick that digs video games – Ahem!! Correction, A chick who ‘designs’ Video Games, is definitely not ‘designed’ to be on the geek-o-meter).
MUNCHES OUT ON: Computer chips..(Well literally and figuratively). She is like a cyber monster I tell ya…
ALLERGIC TO: Anything ‘Anti- technology’. She will have a ‘short circuit’ if you are not on the ‘techno circuit’. So if you’re thinking of asking her out, better brush up your ‘techno-dicto’ and ‘suit- up’!!
CHILL OUT ZONES: Video games! Video games! Video games! And there is nothing 3D about it, her life is just 1D (One Dimensional) and my joke is completely 2D (2 Dumb!) but I am still cracking up.
HER KINDA NOISE: Any kind of ‘screechy-data-processing-noise’ coming from her computer. Whether it’s ‘in sync’ or ‘out sync’ it all rocks for Jenny.
WHERE CAN YOU SPOT JENNY ON THE MAP TODAY: She is trying to get my mom ‘off’ the typewriter and hook her ‘on’ to the world of computers. Sadly only one amongst the two will survive this day. My bet is on my mom! Jenny R.I.P
We will have more about the film, the game, and the music with reviews and exclusive stories coming up soon. While you are waiting for our goodies and for the music and film to release, be sure to go check out the cool stuff you can do on the website like deconstruct G.One, read a Graphic Novel and oh yes, get your very own cool movie merchandise but more on that later!