Being a woman can be difficult.
No, sorry. Being a woman is difficult.
The different messages we all face to do with how we should look is overwhelming.
I am sure many women can relate to that feeling of not being good enough. Or to that assumption of they will love me once: I’ve lost weight, or I’ve coloured my hair, or I’ve shaved my legs, or sorted out that facial hair.
Rubbish. It’s all rubbish.
The truth is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it takes much more than so-called beauty for a person to fall in love. Love is when a person accepts us as we are with a heart connection. Completely. Without having to dye those grey hairs or shave those legs.
Love happens when we can each accept ourselves and love ourselves for who we truly are. For example, in Dum Laga Ke Haisha, Prem (Ayushmann Khurrana) tells his wife Sandhya (Bhumi Pednekar) that she doesn’t need to lose weight because if someone were to fall in love with her, they would regardless.
Why isn’t this genuine self-acceptance encouraged?
From a young age we are plastered with images from the big screen showing us the ideal women we must look like if we are to be desired. Maybe that’s the magic of showbiz – the portrayal of the unattainable. However, a serious issue is caused when a 14-year-old is diagnosed with liver failure because she has secretly not eaten for a week. Or that a young woman grows up thinking she is ugly, running her self-esteem, attracting rubbish into her life, when actually, she is drop dead gorgeous.
The idea of what makes a person desirable is fuelled by societal opinion of how a woman should look and gosh has this concept made many burn in pain.
Even Sonam Kapoor.
Bollywood actress Sonam Kapoor has spoken out on her struggles with body image and diet – struggles shared amongst women globally.
Sonam Kapoor’s essay “I didn’t wake up like this” is important and brave.
Highlighted are her personal struggles.
Can you believe a relative of hers once remarked – She’s so tall, she’s so dark. Who on Earth will marry her? It’s appalling that girls and women are made to feel like dirt, especially when they are growing up. Deep insecurities are bred at that transitional stage of evolving. But it seems that many women are not supported to evolve into who they really are and how their natural body shape is. Anorexia and bulimia are everyday issues. Sonam Kapoor herself states that she tried many crazy diets and that sometimes she simply just did not eat.
She emphasises that the beautiful celebrity we see on screen or in a public appearance has had hours of make-up and styling prior to their appearance.
Kapoor puts it into perspective.
This universal heartache women go through is unfair.
The women we aspire to look like do not even look like that themselves! Even if we know that deep down we still fall into a trap of flawlessness and before long that voice emerges: not good enough…
Well, it’s time to get out.
Thank you Sonam Kapoor for reminding us.
Kapoor is breaking the taboo.
It’s now our turn to tell that teenager who we used to be that she is beautiful. As Kapoor states: Don’t let her grow up believing that she’s flawed.
In reality, before we do that we must go back as strong women and visit that young girl in ourselves and tell her: You are beautiful.