The Anti-Chick Lit Rant

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I have managed to annihilate myself from the female gender. Yet again!

Let me explain. I am not quite a normal girl. I do grow my nails and wear make-up but nowadays so do most boys. The thing that sets me apart is that I hate romantic comedies and chick-lit. It gives me a headache and Lord only knows that I don’t need anymore! It’s the same old story with no real purpose and sometimes a very fun soundtrack (though very rare indeed). So just for future reference chick-flick is a romantic comedy film and chick-lit is a romantic comedy book all written from a woman’s perspective. Now while I am a woman, modern day women just irritate me. The constant fascade of feminism when what they actually are is a disgrace to feminism (note to all: Germain Greer and her ilk are not feminists!). So here I am writing an article to let you all know the flaws with films and books of that genre.

Romantic comedies and chick-lit are a disease upon society. Bridget Jones’s Diary, How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days are just some examples of films that should NOT be made. Ever. The story basically goes: girl likes guy, big misunderstanding which is all the guy’s fault, guy succumbs and they live happily ever after. They are usually perfect specimens of men and women with great make-up and clothes. They sell an unrealistic dream of the careers they are in (How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days showed Kate Hudson working for a woman’s magazine – there is no way in hell she could afford any of the things she wore during the film! These guys are paid pittance unless they are working for a major magazine such as Vogue). Apart from Bridget Jones, all the women are ridiculously perfect and brilliant in their field and blah blah blah. I don’t like Bridget Jones because she is just insecure and simpering. The annoying thing is that she is closer to the real deal than any of the other stories because all the other lead, so-called ‘strong’ female characters are just weak and whiney. Oh look at me! I need a husband! I need a boyfriend! My job is this, that and the other!

The only chick-flicks that I have really enjoyed are Down With Love, Two Weeks Notice and to an extent, Love Actually. Down With Love was the very definition of sexy 60’s and played the stereotypes of modern day chick-flicks to the hilt. It also highlighted the major flaw of the 60’s mentality and feminism (suffragettes are turning in their damn graves!). Genius! Two Weeks Notice – very plausible character and very plausible stories. Sandra Bullock’s character is living in a dilapidated apartment and is constantly protesting about some agenda or another, has terrible dress sense, is a flawed but a nice creature and when she meets Hugh Grant, there is no ‘lust’ at first sight. Hugh Grant is also not a perfect character in the film and he isn’t pitted against a terrible boyfriend. It was a funny light film that had no intentions of taking itself seriously (think Alisha Silverstone’s quote about Clueless). Love Actually – a beautifully intertwined story of 10 different characters and dealt with all kinds of love – not just one kind. Oh Richard Curtis – this has been one of your far better works. Notting Hill and Four Weddings & A Funeral will never ever a hold a candle to this. This was just pure genius. I am proud to say you are British.

Now with chick-lits, it’s even worse. Some of it is porn for women and the other is just a highlight of how insecure women are. If you are going to read literature about women then read Jane Austen’s work (if you are not into too much tragedy and limited historical references) or Elizabeth Gaskell or the Brontes (if you are interested in tragedy and historical references). These are books about true female empowerment. Modern day chick-lits are just terrible. The man is the evil creature. There is always some evil woman lurking around the corner to take your man. The girls is an angel – the image of perfection and consideration. Jesus! Fetch me a barf bag and a baseball bat someone!

The one thing that drives me insane about these books and films is how anti-male they are. It is not a healthy way to grow up. Yes there are some evil men out there but then there are also some evil women, priests, children and animals out there. Seriously, if you want to keep it light, keep it light. Don’t try and overdose people with morality and comedy in the form of romance. It rarely works. So with that, I have hopefully left you with food for thought. Which reminds me, I need to go eat.

Give me guy-lit and a comedy-action flick any day.

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