When Oscar Films Came to Bollywood…

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Oscar nominated movies are without a doubt a cut above the rest. To their credit, they individually possess a unique script, a talented cast and top-notch production value. India is not far behind attempting to use the exact quotient in every film. The Hindi film industry produces a multitude of films but has unfortunately failed to create too much buzz at the Oscars. And while this year’s Oscars are officially done and dusted, BollySpice thought it would be interesting if we Indianized the Oscar nominated films of 2008. We’ve recast, reworked and remixed the exclusively selected films of last year to fit Bollywood. We wonder… would they still be as successful at the Oscars if they were made in Bollywood? You decide!

From Revolutionary Road to M.G. Road

If Devgan Entertainment productions replaced Sam Mendes and made a four-hour feature flick based on Revolutionary Road, we know for sure that the movie will lose its main plot and trail off towards the end. Of course, two songs will be shot in the forest, there will be one dream sequence based in an international location and there will be one remix video completely unrelated to the movie when the credits start rolling. The movie will be based in the suburbs of Pune, where Devgan works as an accountant for a company that manufactures match-sticks. Devgan’s dream is to work in the world’s best financial company based in NY, with an office overlooking the Manhattan paradise. Kajol will be a dreamer who just wants to be a millionaire. She gets married to darling Devgan in hopes of walking in tandem towards fulfillment of this dream. Life’s expectations take over and Kajol has to give up this dream. The movie continues with Devgan’s Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam like performance and Kajol’s Winslet-like dialogue delivery.

From Curious Case of Benjamin Button to Pradeep Pathan Ki Ajeeb Kahani

The movie will open with Jaya Bachchan screaming at the sight of an old baby. The baby grows younger to be Aamir Khan with his romantic style and deep performance. He will fall in love with a girl who grows up to be a model ala Sushmita Sen. This Filmfare worthy duo will portray a beautiful on-screen chemistry. Sanjay Leela Bhansali will direct this movie with his over-the-top multi-crore set and little ego. A.R.Rahman will set the musical score with Javed Akhtar’s lyrics.

From The Reader to Nadia

The movie will be in flashback. It will be based in Agra. Imran Khan will play the role of a second year college student. The movie will play off of the discrepancies in cultures of Hindu and Muslim. Raghu, a seventeen-year-old, will fall in love and have a relationship with Nadia, a forty-year-old hostel caretaker, played by the elegant Dimple Kapadia. Imran Khan will mimic Aamir Khan’s cuteness from Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar. Nadia will have a dark past, which would have involved in human trafficking and other anti-social activities. The movie will bring out the romance between the two as well as revealing some truths about the protagonists. The movie will involve sound track by Junoon which mix poetry and rock together.

From Slumdog Millionaire to Mohan Ban Gaya Millionaire

This multi-starrer colorful film will have everything in it – romance, action, tragedy, suspense, thrill, drama. This movie will be directed by Subhash Ghai. The extravagant songs and the expensive sets will make this a complete masala movie. Shahrukh Khan will star with a new Ghai’s twenty year old ‘discovery’ with innocent eyes and a name that starts with ‘M’. There will be twenty crying scenes, ten running in slow motion scenes and one half-hour Shahrukh Khan’s super-emotional part. The dialogues will be overly dramatic and there will be one ‘dancing in the rain’ scene. Kajol and Rani Mukherjee will be surprise guests and the movie will begin and end with two item numbers by Mallika Sherawat and Rakhi Sawant. The movie will be a box office hit. Prasoon Joshi will win the screenplay and songwriter award.

From Australia to Mauritius

Akshay Kumar and Lara Dutta, the ultimate rugged couple, would need to be in a film that technically would need to be directed by the late Feroz Khan. The veteran Khan would be the only director who would use his own unique style and cowboy sense, bring it to the forefront and allow this film to shine. The plot of course would revolve around a stud farm which was undergoing a major family dispute. Dutta, realizing she would need some help from a hunky strong man, i.e. Akshay Kumar. There would definitely be a few dance sequences around the farm as well as a raunchy rain number choreographed by Farah Khan. Additionally, when the couple is forced to separate, their anguish will be caught by a ‘judaai’ song and a love filled reunion. The young child in the film will most likely be played by Darsheel Safary. The young child will enact the part of a street child who is taken in by the couple. An out and out action film this one is bound to put Akshay Kumar back up on the charts. Oh, and who can forget a probable hit song with his favorite Bohemia.

From Changeling to Ghumshuda

Bollywood’s answer to Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan would most definitely be the only actress capable of playing a mother whose son is kidnapped. Set in the 1960’s in Calcutta, the film would cover a single widowed mother’s agony as she deals with a wretched system filled with corruption. However, Rai as the tormented mother would search the alleys of Calcutta only to depict the beautiful sights of the city. The actress would most definitely need an actor who would rush in and save the day, helping the her find her son after years of pain. Music by Shantanu Moitra and most likely to be directed by ace director Mani Ratnam, the film is likely to be filled with a powerful performance and some guaranteed strong dialogues. Unlike the Hollywood version, which ended on a sad note leaving Jolie hoping her son would eventually return, the Bollywood version would depict a tear jerking mother-son meeting in the climax.

From Doubt to Shaq

The film played by Sharmila Tagore as the headmaster of a convent school and Amitabh Bachchan as the priest would be set in Goa. Much like the original, the film would divulge secrets about the priest of the school and church who is said to be indulging in explicit relationships with the students of the school. As the plot gets hotter, more secrets are revealed and a reason for the closeness between priest and students is finally explained. However, Tagore is unsatisfied and forces Bachchan to resign from the church. After much hoopla, the climax will end with the veteran actress realizing she may have actually been wrong to “doubt” the priest as her conscious slowly eats at her. No dance numbers but some great background music by A.R. Rahman.

From Milk to Manav Malhotra

Aamir Khan would perform the role of Manav Malhotra in modern day Mumbai who realizes he is gay. Initially, as he came out of the closet, the actor will be seen as being deemed different from other men and is shunned by his family. Grasping quickly, that a clear discrimination does exist between gay men in India, he takes it upon himself to fight it out and becomes the first gay politician in India. While the screenplay will also perhaps cover a slight love angle, and additionally consider Khan as a gay activist for gay rights. Madhur Bandarkar would need to take this realistic film on himself with a powerhouse performance by Aamir Khan who eventually receives acceptance from the country. Dialogues by Prashoon Joshi, and music by Salim-Sulaiman, this one must include an item number by Rakhi Sawant.

From The Wrestler to Pelvaan

Who else but Sanjay Dutt to play the dejected wrestler in Bollywood’s answer to the Oscar nominated film. The story, much similar to the west would revolve around a once popular wrestler who, back in the day, was a popular personality in the ring. Over time, his fame decreases and he finds himself working in a garage to make ends meet. He soon meets the beautiful Katrina Kaif who encourages him to try again and regain his reputation. And of course, that just happens. However, all falters when the wrestler gets involved with drugs and loses his love. After an overdose, he is admitted into a hospital and told he cannot get back into the ring. In true Bollywood style, he goes against his doctor’s orders to prove his worth and salvage his darling. Directed by Sanjay Gupta with music by Anu Malik, the film would see Dutt, in his true He-Man form, and bagging all major awards with his passionate performance in this flick.

From Vicky Cristina Barcelona to Deepika Meghna Goa

Newbie director Tarun Mansukhani seems like a worthy candidate to direct this girlie flick for Dharma Productions. Two friends, Kareena Kapoor and Katrina Kaif decide to head out on a girl-out vacation to Goa. The girls, while on a night out and met by hunky John Abraham who flirts with the girls and takes an interest Katrina Kaif. However, as luck would have it, Kaif falls ill and Kapoor is forced to spend time with him only causing them to get close and instead land up falling in love. The friends grow apart and the new couple decide to move in together. They are awoken one night by a phone call-;Bipasha Basu, who happens to be John Abraham’s ex-girlfriend. What happens next is not only interestingly humorous but entertaining and exciting. The great cast would definitely cause audiences to flock and watch the film without a doubt. Great music by Vishal Shekhar and of course, some fabulous dance moves by Farah Khan, this film is bound to be a summer bonanza!

Writing Bollywood versions of these Oscar nominated features make us realize how much we love Bollywood. To tell you a little secret, Bollywood is always on our mind. So, don’t blame us if we see Aamir in Pitt and Kajol in Winslet. Because really, what’s a movie if it’s not three hours long and doesn’t include at least five songs with our amazing Bollywood babes.

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