“‘Scream’ Presence: The Incredible Stardom Of Uorfi Javed” – A Subhash K Jha Review

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The spelling of her name is not all that is strange and jaw-droppingly unbelievable about this girl called Uorfi Javed. Until recently , I had no clue as to who she was. I was told she was a “hot influencer” who dressed in the weirdest costumes to get noticed.

The Amazon documentary on Uorfi, Follow Kar Le Yaar, attempts to probe into the mind behind that ‘scream’ presence. I admit I had no interest in watching some self-important attention seeker at work and play (which in this case, are the one and the same). But Follow Kar Le Yaar proved to be quite entertaining.

For one, it is ostensibly unscripted: a claim I seriously doubt. The way Ms Javed and her very lovely sisters (at times they are more interesting than she) interact, its seems like a mimicry of spontaneity rather than the real thing, which is not a bad thing .

Really, reality is a beast. The more you try to get there, the more elusive it feels. Let’s just say Uorfi Javed’s reality is a far cry from the real reality. Hers is world of nipple covers, boob tapes, sibling tantrums, managerial tussles and a boob job. Yes, she discusses a possible bust enhancement with her sisters who seem totally opposed to the idea (“your petite body won’t be able to carry those boulders on your shoulders” etc etc).

The hilarious part of her mammarian plans eventuates when she asks her business manager to get her a good breast implanter.

The manager acts bewildered and asks why she would do something like that.

Uorfi: “Tumne mere boobs dekhe hain?”

Trick question. The manager falls for it.

There are many such amusement interludes in this chronicle of a girl in a swirl who will do all she can to get noticed.

The culture of self-love was given a heads-up when Kareena Kapoor wowed the nation with her Poo act. Uorfi is Poo’a latest and most aggressive avatar. Throughout this entertaining reality-documentary I tried to understand what makes this diminutive girl such a stick of dynamite.

Everyone wants a bit of Uorfi Javed, none more so than Uorfi herself. Her self-love is reflected in every move she makes in the docu-series. Even the staged rendezvous with her therapist and Uorfi’s meltdown in an simulated “unguarded” moment are up for sale.

My favourite “unguarded” moment in this lively ode to shallowness is when Uorfi tells her sisters she will be flying business class while they will be travelling economy to their hometown Lucknow.

There is a very thin line dividing the breadearner from the dreadearner.

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