The Razzies Awards for 2009

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Granted, we cannot compare our online Razzies Award Ceremony to the Oscars, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know what we’re talking about. Yes, Bollywood addicts, we are back and how this year we are ready to rock and roll as we give you the worst in Bollywood in 2009. The Razzies is actually a Hollywood phenomena which felt that the best seemed to honored nonstop but the worst never seemed to get their due. What an interesting concept! And thus, how could we be behind. After all, Bollywood makes far more movies, yes a lot of them are bad, than Hollywood does on a yearly basis. We too have award season. The Filmfare, Stardust, Screen, Aspara and so on, tend look at the excellence that is Hindi cinema, but not the worst. You can count on BollySpice to take you down that road. Here’s presenting Bollywood at its worst in 2009.

Worst Debut — Female

Pretty much same scene when it comes to the female debuts in 2009. However, if anyone must get the worst female debut, it has to be Kylie Minogue for her item number in Blue. The cheesy lyrics, need we remind you of one ‘Chiggy Wiggy’, her trashy wardrobe and an incredibly jerkish Akshay Kumar prancing around her all helped to create a pretty bad entrance for the Aussie singer into the world of Bollywood.

Worst Onscreen Couple

When you get the king of comedy romancing a Miss Universe, you sometimes get a flop jodi. This is the case for Govinda and Lara Dutta in Do Knot Disturb. Granted that Lara does have great comic timing, but for some reason her chemistry with Govinda didn’t sizzle but in fact fell flat. You can’t blame them solely for their inapt jodi. DND was hardly funny and the not-funny dialogues simply didn’t work for audiences. Add to that a seen-it-a-billion-times scenario, the cheating bored husband who falls in love with a bimbo supermodel, and what you have is a bullish film with a couple you never want to see again.

Worst Choreography

The song, incredible. The picturization, strangely made you want to barf. ‘Aaj Dil Gustakh’ from Blue was no doubt one of the best in the Rahman composed album. However, when it was seen on the idiot tube, what you saw was nothing short of feeling a bit disgusted. A beach, a bikini-cladded Lara Dutta followed by a wrinkly Sanjay Dutt who simply couldn’t keep his paws off her. They grinded and touched, kissed and fondled while we, the watchers, stood grossed out at the sight. We do pray to the choreography Gods in Bollywood, that they would not repeat such an act. We pray.

Worst Kiss

It was a tossup when it came down to the worst kiss of the year. However, consensus was clear: both of the kisses involved Kareena Kapoor. Whether it was her strangely awkward kiss with Akshay Kumar or her clearly rehearsed smooch with Saif Ali Khan, she simply failed. Kareena definitely shared some comical chemistry with Akshay Kumar in Kambakth Ishq. Amidst their bickering, they somehow lost the urge to romance thus, their kiss and its lack of substance. But it was surprising to see how lame the overly hyped and glorified kissing scene in Kurbaan, between real-life beau Saif Ali Khan and the ace actress, really was. It was sloppy and wet, reminding us of two puppies kissing. Anyhow, it’s a split award here for the worst kiss of the year.

Worst Soundtrack

He wins yet again. Himesh Reshammiya comes out two years in a row with top honors in the music category. This year he wins for Radio; one of the worst albums to have ever erupted into the music scene in India. For the life of me, I cannot understand why Himesh chooses to adopt cheap lyrics which include, ‘Mann Ka Radio’. It is not as though the music director has no idea as to what he is singing and when you decide to release an album which uses the words, ‘Mann Ka Radio’, you can assure yourself that you will win a Razzie.

Worst Actress

Deepika Padukone created quite an impact from the minute she debuted into the world of Bollywood. And then she goes and signs Chandni Chowk to China. Need we say more? Not only did the film make Bollywood look terrible but one wonders as to why the actress would have even signed the film. Her role as the twin sisters, one in India and the other in China, was neither humorous nor cute. She attempted to be the next action queen and failed. You can be sure she will not be winning any award or accolades for her performance in this film and thus, we award her with the worst actress in a leading role for CC2C.

Worst Actor

Sigh. It is sad that this actor really can’t make the cut but Harman Baweja does try hard. He really has tried hard since his debut. This year we saw him in Victory and What’s Your Rashee?. However none of the two cut it at the box office nor did it seem to gain him any popularity. He failed as a wannabe cricketer and as a rushing groom looking to get married. It was ex-girlfriend Priyanka Chopra who walked out with an accolades for WYR and as for Victory, the filmed failed and how. He may not get the best actor award anytime soon but for now, Harman Baweja may just have to be satisfied with this Razzie.

Worst Film

And the award for the worst film of 2009 goes to the first film of 2009: Chandni Chowk to China. To the cast, crew and production house, I propose questions. For Nikhil Advani, what were you thinking? To Akshay Kumar, the same and to producers Warner Brothers, why? The script was nothing short of garbage and the performances just the same. Not only did we wonder what exactly was going in this film which attempted to follow the life of a parantha eating man hop across the border into the noodle eating lanes of China. Filled with stereotypes and nothing exciting besides The Great Wall of China, CC2C is by far the worst film to have come out of Bollywood in 2009.

And with that we come to the end of yet again another year filled with the worst of Bollywood coming to the forefront. In the meantime, we are sure that 2010 will be bring with it the worst of Bollywood and we will be ready to inform you about it when and as it happens.

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